’ She turned more towards me, reached her left over my lap and cupped my balls. I flinched a little, but she didn’t squeeze them. In later years, ... figured out that she’d mastered one of the skills of the medieval Spanish Inquisition: the memory of past pain and the fear of future pain are usually sufficient by themselves to induce confession (or compliance), without the need to actually inflict pain in the present. It also had the benefit of keeping the subject alive to potentially provide. My eighty-year-old life was not precious. I had nothing to offer this world. My brain, my ideas, my attitudes had all calcified. I was a hardened conservative. Well, as they say, ‘If you aren’t a conservative at eighty, you have no brain.’ I’ve added to that. ‘If you are STILL a conservative at seventeen, you have no heart.’ And, in fact, you didn’t have one at eighty, either. What I had backward was believing my precious life was worth saving. My brain. It wasn’t. The life that was worth. More

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