1. Sex would smell like chocolate2. Farts would smell like roses3. Dogs would smell spring fresh4. Babies would come from vending machines5. Men would...be born with a permanent erection6. All women would have the same size breasts7. There would be no cellulite8. Every food on the planet would be FAT FREE9. Men would be born with an “OFF” switch10. There would be no “Hooters”11. A man’s paycheck would be made payable to his wife12. All menstrual cycles would be replaced with a 5-8 day vacation in. ”Phil and Hailey pulled into his parents’ driveway just as David came around the corner carrying a stepladder.He smiled broadly at the kids and gave them both hugs after he put the ladder against the house.“Let me guess,” Phil said, “you want me to put up the lights.”“I timed it just right!” David replied. “Don’t worry. I’ve already got them sorted. I figured it would be a good family project.”“You put lights outside?” Hailey asked. She couldn’t keep the smile from her face. The homeowner’s. More

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