..So I masturbated. Not one of my proudest moments, but given thecircumstances, I thought it was acceptable.So, by now it had been over two hours. Jus... as I was beginning topanic, the phone rang again."I see that you are all dressed," Becca said. "Good. Now, under thesink in the kitchen there is a box. It contains your presents. Openit."I did as I was told and opened the box. Inside was a collection ofsteel and torture devices."Now, first of all," Becca continued, "take out the leather straps. 6. The Americans below you are all in anti-government militia groups.TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN SASKATCHEWAN1. You never run out of wheat.2. Your province is really easy to draw.3. You can watch the dog run away from home for hours.4. People will assume you live on a farm.5. Daylight savings time? Who the hell needs that!TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN MANITOBA1. You wake up one morning to find that you suddenly have a beachfront property...2. Hundreds of huge, horribly frigid lakes.3 Nothing compares to a. More

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